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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30076431">Follow Through</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickledragon/pseuds/pickledragon'>pickledragon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BoJack Horseman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon-Typical Behavior, Gen, Internal Monologue, Mentioned Diane Nguyen, One Shot, Post-Episode: s06e13 The Horny Unicorn, Season/Series 06, Suicide, break-it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:33:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>949</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30076431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pickledragon/pseuds/pickledragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>It's not human instinct to drown on your own. You flail your arms and take everyone else down with you, because people are selfish like that. You make everyone else pay for the trouble of investing in a dead horse walking.</p>
</blockquote>Bojack Horseman, on a bridge.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>BoJack Horseman &amp; Diane Nguyen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Follow Through</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's freezing out here. </p><p>Bojack doesn't know if it's the late spring or the overcast day or the wind that he can hear whistling around the metal  above him. Probably a combination of all three, because nature just happens to be a bitch like that. There's air beneath his feet, ice probably freezing to his ass, and Bojack's hands are shaking so much he's definitely sure he'll drop anything he tries to hold into the water below.</p><p>And he didn't pack a coat or gloves. Because obviously, who takes the time to dress warm when they're preparing to throw themselves off a bridge?</p><p>He's not entirely sure how he ended up here. It's not a place with any specific memory attached to it, just the first cliff he found himself at when his feet stopped moving of their own volition. It's not like he can drive to Louisville, bold that parallel with his hero with more pitch black ink. </p><p>Bojack curses. Picks at the threads in the arm of his shirt. He's sober now, been sober for the longest he's ever been. He'd walked straight out of that college party, dropped the bottle of beer along the way somewhere, managed to cut his hand open because since when could he even get rid of a bottle right, stupid piece of shit. Hollyhock's letter is half crumpled in his pocket, half still stuck on the stoop of a frat house. It starts kind and it gets kinder, lines crossed out and erased with the ghosts of 8 proofreaders hovering in the background. She was always nicer to him than he ever deserved. But it all ends in the same place. </p><p>He swings his feet back and forth in the air off the side of the bridge. The air passes through the holes in his sneakers and his stomach does somersaults.<br/>
Bojack sits. Stares at the water a bit more, looks at the drop. He can't catch his breath, hasn't been able to since he opened that letter. Maybe since he gave that interview. Things were okay, good, for a bit. He was someone different, or maybe just the same Bojack, shifted slightly to the right. He always knows how to make sure good things never last.</p><p>He blinks. The sun is coming up, just peeking above the horizon, and the metal isn't actually dark red, like he thought, just a patchwork orange and grey. Huh. Still freezing as hell though.</p><p>What on earth is he expecting to get out of this? The bridge is mostly empty at this time of night. He's far enough from the road and dressed in dark enough colors that he won't be spotted until he stands up. This bridge isn't a hot destination anyways: his death probably won't even close the bridge.<br/>
Classic Bojack Horseman: even when he's being a needy piece of shit, he <i>still</i> wants to find the way to get the most attention. </p><p>Because, well. It's not human instinct to drown on your own. You flail your arms and take everyone else down with you, because people are selfish like that. You make everyone else pay for the trouble of investing in a dead horse walking.<br/>
Bojack doesn't think he's a bad person, not really. Just fears it so much it's seeped into his bones, sits beside his marrow and spreads throughout the body. It gets easier, if you do it every day - hold the fear that everyone who loves you will leave right next to your heart, and then make it come true. </p><p>What's the difference between him, a golf ball, and Triple Crown Winner Secretariat? Two of them actually have follow through.</p><p>He fumbles with his pocket and pulls out his phone, careful to keep it in his hands. The side is already bloody - hand wounds bleed like a bitch, even if you don't hit a vein. Maybe if he talks about it he'll excise the poison, or maybe he'll just fall back in.</p><p>Audio is terrible out here, between the wind and the water. He doesn't really have anyone anymore - the amount of people he hasn't already alienated sits at a solid zero, if you exclude Vance Waggoner. But there was never really any question who he'd call. </p><p>Diane's cell goes to voicemail, and he <i>knows</i> she's in Chicago, hopes to god she'll forget to look at her missed calls. He's going to ruin her life again, when she gets the news. Forgiveness dies when you do.</p><p>"Hey, this is Diane! Nguyen, obviously. Leave a message, and I'll either get back to you eventually, or pretend your message got lost in transit, which is definitely a thing that happens with voicemails."</p><p>Bojack closes his eyes.<br/>
"Hey, Diane. I know you probably don't want to talk to me right now, along with the rest of the world, but I need to ask a favor. And I promise, I won't ever ask for anything again. Which would normally be a lie, but hey, maybe I can turn over a new leaf for the third time."</p><p>The sun's emerged fully from the water now, almost blinding. Bojack's lost all feeling in his toes.</p><p>"When you can, just. Call me back, tell me about your day. I miss you. And—" he hesitates for a second. "Thank you, Diane. Bye." He hangs up.</p><p>Bojack stands up in one fluid motion, straightens his jacket, brushes off the invisible dirt. Stretches a little, one hand curled around the metal bar nearest to him, then lets go, leaves his phone on the ground beside him.</p><p>Before he can lose his nerve, Bojack takes the first step, lets the other foot follow. Eyes squeezed shut until halfway down.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Comments make my life &lt;3<br/>Find me at pickledragon.tumblr.com or instagram.com/_pickle_dragon</p></blockquote></div></div>
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